Man Wrote His Own Obituary Confessed To Stealing Safe And Fake PhD

Christi • July 18, 2012 • 0 Comments

A man wrote his obituary confessed to stealing safe and having a fake PhD.

Val Patterson, 59, died of throat cancer on July 10. He wrote his own first-person obituary. The obituary was published in the Salt Lake Tribune.

In the obituary he wrote, “I AM the buy who stole the safe from View Drive Inn back in June 1971.”

He also revealed that he only received a diploma from the University of Utah due to a filing error by an office worker. He claimed he never knew what the letters ‘PhD’ stood for.

He apologized to the Electronic Engineers he worked with saying, “I’m sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well.”

He claimed that Disney and Seaworld banned him for life, but doesn’t explain why he was.

Most people were touched by this part of Patterson’s obituary. He wrote he enjoyed a good life, but regretted smoking cigarettes which led to his throat cancer.

Here are some of the funny things Patterson wrote on his obituary: